What a DEAL!

You can put all the money you saved toward crutches and physical therapy!

Don't make me say it again!

Yes folks, the only thing that makes these hideous shoes even remotely appealing is not part of the deal!  Not a single dinosaur toy will be included . . . nope. . .no colorful tiny dinosaurs for you . . . nada. . . you did see that the toys weren't included, didn't you?  
If Pee Wee Herman had a Sister, who was a nun. . .she would like these shoes. . .but only if they included the damn dinosaurs.

Droopy drawers.

"I just wish there was some way to make my legs look shorter. . ."


. . .said no woman. . .EVER!

Livin' the dream!

You know that nightmare where you're grocery shopping and you suddenly realize you're only wearing underwear?   

Don't start the party without me!

The decorations were pretty ho-hum 

. . .until Beverly made her grand entrance.

YEEEE HAW!

Nothing says "this needs brown cowboy boots" quite like ankle length, aqua and white lace palazzo pants!  I can't help but think this looks a bit like an ensemble someone would put together after they lost all of their worldly possessions in a house fire and had to resort to wearing whatever they could find in Grandma's storage locker.  The maternity panel-esque waist band is a snazzy addition to the whole look too.

Invisiboots

I'm trying to decide which would be worse. . .seeing someone's dirty, wadded up, socks pressed up against the inside of these boots. . .or seeing someone's wrinkled, prune-skin, bare toes, steaming away in them. . .